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    Toronto Blue Jays to change name to something racist in order to find new home in U.S.

    (The Beaverton) Anywhere but TORONTO – After the Toronto Blue Jays have been barred from playing in their home city and rejected by Pittsburgh, the desperate team has stated they are willing to change their name to something offensive in order to get more interest in US cities. “We understand that in order to be […] More

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    Atlanta Falcons Win Popular Vote, Still Lose Super Bowl

    VATICAN ENQUIRER (Houston, Texas) The results of Super Bowl LI are in, and the winner is the New England Patriots. After pulling out to an early 28-3 lead, Atlanta allowed the Patriots to reel off 25 consecutive points to tie the game and secure an overtime period (the first in Super Bowl history). Although the […] More

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    Female Softball Player Comes Out as Straight

    A college softball player from the University of Texas shocked the sports world today by coming out as a heterosexual. In an emotional press conference this morning, Jennifer Ryan, 23, announced that she was a “proud member” of the opposite-sex community. The senior shortstop is believed to be the first and only openly straight women’s […] More

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    Mexico Withdraws From Gold Cup Final, Panama Advances

    Mexico will settle playing the United States for second place. BREAKING NEWS:  This just in, a spokesperson of Mexico’s National Team, the Selección Mexicana, in an official statement said Mexico will distance itself from the performance of the referees in the game with Panama and its decision to withdraw from the final play. Accompanied by […] More

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    FIFA 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

    Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon (VATICAN ENQUIRER) ZURICH—After the United States Justice Department (DOJ) indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been […] More

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    U.S. Anxiously Awaiting The Arrival of Eduardo Li

      BROOKLYN, NY (The Vatican Enquirer) – U.S. authorities are anxiously waiting the arrival of Costa Rican Eudaro Li in Brooklyn, New York, to have their day in a preliminary hearing. In fact, it has already defined where the Tico will touch g ground. According to New York prosecutor, Darren LaVerne, upon his arrival Li […] More

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    FIFA To Taste Vengeful Might and Fury of the U.S. Military

    WASHINGTON (The Vatican Enquirer) – Critics have called the Obama Administration’s actions against the soccer organization “weak and ineffective,” calling for military action to “dismantle and destroy FIFA and bring its leader to justice.” “These are people who only understand one thing: force,” said Senator John McCain on the floor of the United States Senate. […] More

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    The ‘Slow Olympics’ Coming Later This Year

    MUNICH — Preparations are nearing completion for the world’s first Slow Olympics, where athletes from around the world will compete while living in the moment. Inspired by other Slow movements such as Slow Food, Slow Parenting and Slow Emergency Response, the first annual Slow Olympics is scheduled to open this August in the Bavarian town […] More

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    Seahawks and Patriots Say They Are Ready To Open For Katy Perry

    February 1, 2015, VATICAN ENQUIRER – The Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots say they are ready to open for the Katy Perry concert on Sunday afternoon, at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. Following the concert the Super Bowl, the most anticipated sports event and commercials will follow. To avoid from the crown […] More

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    Costa Rica Gets A ‘Do Over’ Because It Was Snowing

    Costa Rica’s national soccer team will get a do over (do something over again, to repeat something) Friday night’s game with the United States. “It was snowing really hard”, said Costa Rican manager Jorge Luis Pinto about the field conditions at the Commerce City, Colorado stadium, where his team lost to the gringos in World […] More