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    Kanye/Caitlyn 2020: Caitlyn Jenner named Kanye’s running mate

    In a quick conversation with reporters, Kanye West announced that transgender Olympian and reality TV star, Caitlyn Jenner, will be his running mate in the November presidential elections. Jenner was supportive of Donald Trump’s 2016 but has since soured on Trump – calling him “the worst”, making her the perfect presidential runner up. Asked by […] More

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    Trump Replaces Washington Monument With Giant Can Of Goya Beans

    (Babylon Bee) WASHINGTON, D.C.—Liberals have been complaining about the Washington Monument, which is named after the notorious racist George Washington. Well, Trump is now appeasing them, having taken down the century-old obelisk, replacing it with a 350-foot-tall can of Goya pinto beans. The authentic Goya can is 350 feet tall and 200 feet wide and […] More

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    Walmart Now Requires All Shoppers To Wear Pants

    (BabylonBee) U.S.—In a move that’s being called “unprecedented tyranny,” Walmart is now requiring all shoppers to wear pants in their stores. Americans everywhere slammed Walmart for the move, saying it amounted to an infringement on our constitutional rights. “I thought this was America,” said one man as a greeter asked him to please put on […] More

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    Trump Says He Doesn’t Need Bolton’s Book Read To Him

    Donald J. Trump has “no intention whatsoever” of having John Bolton’s book read aloud to him, Trump confirmed on Monday. Speaking to reporters at the White House, Trump said that his daughter, Ivanka Trump, had obtained a draft manuscript of the Bolton book and had offered to read it aloud to him “like she does […] More

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    Denmark Offers to Buy USA

    COPENHAGEN (The Borowitz Report)—After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to purchase Greenland, the government of Denmark has announced that it would be interested in buying the United States instead. “As we have stated, Greenland is not for sale,” a spokesperson for the Danish government said on Friday. “We have noted, however, that during the […] More

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    Trump Demands Facebook Investigate Why Obama’s Post Got So Many Likes

    WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A furious Donald J. Trump has demanded that Facebook investigate why a status update posted by former President Barack Obama on Monday has received so many likes. Speaking to reporters on Wednesday morning, Trump said that the more than eight hundred and fifty thousand likes that Obama’s post had garnered as of […] More

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    Trump to Give Putin Office Space at White House

    (The Borowitz Report) – In a sign that Donald J. Trump’s control over the Republican Party is now complete, congressional Republicans on Thursday defended his decision to give the Russian President Vladimir Putin office space at the White House. A newly emboldened Trump told reporters that he had furnished Putin with a corner-office suite and […] More

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    Trump Furious That Mar-a-Lago Is Left with No Employees After ICE Raid

    PALM BEACH, Florida (The Borowitz Report) – Donald Trump was reportedly “hopping mad” on Saturday after a surprise ICE raid left his Mar-a-Lago retreat with no employees. The ICE agents conducting the pre-dawn raid swept through the opulent Palm Beach club and left guests with no one to prepare their food, wash their dishes, or […] More

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    U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

    WASHINGTON—Citing a series of fatal malfunctions dating back to 1777, flag manufacturer Annin & Company announced Monday that it would be recalling all makes and models of its popular American flag from both foreign and domestic markets. Representatives from the nation’s leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past […] More

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    Future Trump Will Be Named Supreme Leader!

    Donald Trump will undoubtedly be remembered not only as a successful President, but he will be considered the greatest president ever of the U.S.A., as well as being the last. This from a man “anonymous” who has access to a Wikipedia Time Machine (WTM) that enables him to see articles published on Trumpmedia (in 2025) […] More

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    Trump Tower Moscow Deal Done!

    Under the guise of a summit to discuss political differences between the United States and Russia, the Vatican Enquirer learned that the behind the doors meeting between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, in Helsinki, was to concrete the Trump Tower Moscow deal. “This was clearly the focus of discussion,” a source close to the Putin […] More

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